i know there are lots of unwanted pregnancies out there, but i speak specifically to those who are facing this reality right now. whether this may be read by somebody years from now, i will continue to stand for the sanctity of life and so i encourage you to continue reading.
like i said from my previous blog regarding the inauguration, i celebrate with america for the historic event we all have shared that time and hopefully still in the days to come. however, this heart breaking news re: abortion has brought me to tears as i reflect on the painful memories, hard choices and heart breaking experiences me and my loved ones have gone through.
i was 17 when i found out i was pregnant. i was scared and confused. there was no time wasted for my boyfriend, at the time, to think this through coz he was certain that he wanted me to have an abortion. although i had mixed emotions and was still uncertain of what lies ahead, i knew right there and then that my boyfriend had no intention of having me and our baby in his life and so i walked out angry, but determined that i was going to solve the problem on my own (whether it means abortion or keeping the baby).
my whole family were not happy to receive the news (which was expected). my dad, at the time was still a non-believer and like most parents, had high hopes for his children and so he was certain not to support me during this difficult time in my life. now that i'm an adult and a parent myself, i do understand how hard it is for parents to accept the situation right away. so, i was forced to move out. i lived with a friend who was staying at her sister's 1 bedroom apartment. so for the next 6 mons of my pregnancy i was sleeping in the living room floor. i was working at a minimum wage in order to support enough grocery, at least 1 meal a day for me, and travel expenses to and from work & the clinic. during this time i was also seeking for an answer, for hope, for some sort of positive support. don't get me wrong, i had the support of my mom, but she was also afraid of my dad at the time. i knew she tried her best, but i was full of anger and was just determined to go through this on my own and there was this feeling inside me that didn't want to cause her more burden.
so one day, i decided to let fate bring me to where i needed to be. i decided to just walk. yes, just walk and think things through. and after long hours of walking, i came across a sign that says "crisis pregnancy center"... i didn't know what they were all about and i was even more afraid to go in coz this place was residing at a small abandoned-like building administering services in the basement. but after longs battles of second thoughts, i finally decided to give it a shot.
nervousness overwhelmed me when i saw that i was the only client at the time. i was asked to fill out a form and take a pregnancy test. after it was confirmed that i was pregnant, a volunteer counselor brought me inside her office. i will never forget her angelic smile and as she approached me with words of acceptance and followed by encouragement. i was able to finally open my heart to share my struggles and pain. i felt like i was dreaming, that this is just too good to be true. that this woman whom i just met, understood and accepted me for who i am instead of judging me. she explained to me the help they can provide during and after my pregnancy. and before i know it, she was handing a small book to me that would slowly water the seed she planted in my heart. in the front cover of the book was the title "HOPE for the Future". the first few pages were the shared thoughts of many young ladies who were going through unwanted pregnancy and with it were words of promises and hope in Christ.
so to you my friend, i feel for you. however, you do not have to go through this alone. i encourage you to not be deceived by the pro-choice advocates who said that it is good that a woman has the right to decide what happens to her own body. understand my friend, that it's not your own body you're killing, but it's a tiny, helpless unborn infant. this helpless baby is not a "product of conception", as the abortionists say, or a "glob of tissue". this helpless baby is and will not be the reason why life will be difficult, nor killing this baby is the solution to a better life.
friend, i know it may be difficult for you to believe right now, but i want you to know that there is hope for your life and hope for you in every way. no matter how serious your problem, or how upset you feel, you can find the peace and strength to make it through this difficult situation. you may think God doesn't want anything to do with you, or that you've made too many mistakes for him to love you, but God DOES love you, just the way you are. i know this is hard to believe, coz we all have done things we are deeply ashamed of, and we just can't imagine how God can still love us in spite of everything we have done wrong. but guess what i found out in the Bible... i found out who God is and how He operates, and i began to understand that God is bigger than what we perceive Him to be. He will never stop loving you. Nothing you will ever do can make him turn away from you. that's why you don't have to be overwhelmed with confusion or hopelessness just like i was. God is with you now, ready to give you the hope you need.
i've realized that apart from God, hope is based only on feelings and dreams for the future. and when those dreams are shattered, hope is crushed. but if your hope is based on God Himself, you will have a hope that problems cannot crush.
so friend, if you want peace of mind, there is no substitute for doing what's right. obeying God will bring a peace that can withstand almost any problem. you can't expect peace if you continually choose what's wrong. however, i have to warn you now, that doing what's right is not necessarily easy. sometimes you don't know what's right; your situation may be complex; or maybe it involves options you've never had to think about before. at other times you know what is right but just don't want to do it. either way, reading the Bible and seeking God's guidance will help you. talk to Him... He will listen. it will help you know what to do and find the strength to do it.
you can leave me a msg. on the comment section (anonymously or not) if you have a prayer request, if you need help in finding resources to help you get through this or simply would like to share your thoughts. until then, i will be praying for you. remember, there is HELP available.
to all: although the obama administration passed this new law this is not the time to quit. it only just proves us that we have a bigger job to fulfill. please continue to pray for our president and his administration and let your voice be heard.
thanks for your time.