When You Question Friendship

Hi All! I haven't posted anything for awhile, but I'm baaaack and looking forward to writing more. 

So, about the title of this post... hmm?! Well, have you experienced a time when you felt rejected, outcast, set aside by a friend whom you've known and trusted more than half of your lifetime? 

Have you doubted their intentions, their loyalty, sincerity, respect and/or the love they truly have for you?  

I have and it sure hurts like crazy!

I guess due to circumstances in both our lives, we've slowly grown apart. We both have different interests now, I guess. I'm married and things unfortunately did not work out for her on that end the first and second time. Our kids are growing and life just keeps happening. But I thought, no matter where life takes you, good or bad, true friends will face the highlights and storms of life with you? I thought, true friends knows no envy, but will celebrate your high moments and cheer you on regardless you both are in the opposite ends? I thought, true friends will not tear you down, but lift you up? I thought, true friends will keep your deepest secrets, defend you  and pray with you when you need it the most? 

Are those just a figment of my imagination towards friendships? I hope not. I cling to God's definition of true friendship... "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15). Jesus is the pure example of a true friend, for He laid down His life for His "friends." What is more, anyone may become His friend by trusting in Him as his personal savior, being born again (old self become new) and receiving new life in Him.

One great example of true friendship is between David and Saul's son Jonathan, who, in spite of his father Saul's pursuit of David and attempts to kill him, stood by his friend. You will find that story in 1 Samuel chapter 18 through chapter 20. Some pertinent passages are 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19: 4-7; 20:11-17, 41-42.

Proverbs is another good source of wisdom regarding friends. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17). "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). The issue here is that in order have a friend, one must be a friend. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" (Proverbs 27:6). "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17).


I thank God for providing His words and wisdom to me and using His people to help me during these times of feeling rejected and alone in friendship. For reminding me that His love isn't based on me or my performance, but it's simply placed on me and it's a place from which we must live, loved. We are all loved by God, period, no question mark.

I would like to share an interview with Lysa Terkeurst regarding this topic at Focus on the Family. Either listen to it, if it's still available or read the transcript. Hope it will bless you as much as it has me. 

Overcoming Rejection to live in God's love by Lysa TerKeurst (Book is called Uninvited) Part 1 and Part 2.

I pray that as you may relate to my story, that you will find peace in knowing that God is our ultimate friend. He's the one I turn to "AT ALL TIMES". Who knows my deepest feelings and comforts me with His presence as He listens to my on going stories. I know that part of this journey I'm in is to learn to forgive and accept that my friend and I are in different stages of life right now and I have nothing, but good wishes for her. I hope someday this will all come to pass, but whatever God has planned for our friendship, I pray that we will both learn and grow from it for the better. And although I'm still healing from the pain of rejection, I still love her and can still promise to be there for her when she needs me the most. 

I've been praying for a special blessing for her as this is the only thing I can do from a distance that will not interfere with her busy schedule. And I'm also praying for myself, that God will continue to teach me and allow me to live life to be the best friend anyone can have as God guides my mouth, my actions and my thoughts that will not crush anyone's spirit, but lift it up for the glory of God. 

For I am proud to say that "I am a friend of God."